• andros_rex@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        I lay a lot of the blame at the feet of fuckers like Dr Phil. So much of the philosophy of mental health treatment is about forcing you to be acceptable to others, not about helping you heal.

        • ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          4 days ago

          Dr Phil is a piece of shit

          Here is his disciplinary file: https://www.scribd.com/document/318570481/Dr-Phil-s-Texas-Disciplinary-File-Full-version-produced-to-LawNewz

          Of note that the woman (SJM who is identified by full name in the document and who was 19 years old, Phil was 38-39) is identified as being in a dual relationship. Phil had her as a patient for some time and then brought her on as an intern.

          This is grossly unethical and as you can see he was reprimanded by the board, as in this was founded and he was guilty. In later interviews he said the rectification to keep his license forced him to close his practice, as he was required to pay another psychologist to supervise his practice. As someone who runs a private counseling practice I can say this would essentially bankrupt you, the margins aren’t enough for a dead weight staff unless you run a large practice with 12+ people under you (at which point the board would probably take this far more seriously, I assume he was practicing independently).

          Fast forward to 2006: Dr Phil surrenders his license. Kind of a strange thing to do. As someone who is licensed even if you never use it it’s almost always worthwhile to keep it active as it’s usually a huge headache to reactivate it whereas keeping it active is just like paying $100-150 a year and taking a few continuing education classes. Especially by 2006 this could all be done online for free; in the 1990s I get it more because CE meant you had to give up a few saturdays and pay even more money. However, people do it.

          Fast forward again to 2009: 2 articles come out in the national enquirer. 1 accuses Dr Phil of being regularly unfaithful and abusive to his wife as well as hitting a man over the head with a beer mug, the other is an account from SJM accusing him of sexual assault back during the 1980s charges described above. Dr. Phil sued for defamation with 250 million dollars sought, which he eventually dropped. Most references to sexual assault article have been scrubbed but some remain and the original articles are gone. The original article on radar was widely reference when posted though so even 16 years later there are still some articles that basically repost the key points

          https://www.cbsnews.com/news/dr-phil-sues-national-enquirer-over-spousal-abuse-articles/

          https://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/monster-dr-phil-accused-of-molesting-young-patient-32064780.html

          Of note: an ethics board now, let alone in 1988, would likely not necessarily investigate sexual assault as that is a criminal manner and difficult to prove. They would likely wait for the outcome of a criminal investigation and move forward based on that unless there was evidence the criminal process was somehow compromised or something. This also is dependent on whether SJM disclosed the abuse in 1988. While it is clear from the file that SJM filed the initial complaint it is unknown to the extent of which her report was detailed. She may have been upset and simply disclosed the inappropriate dual business relationship, she may have disclosed the sexual abuse and was ignored. It is unknown

          ——————

          Even giving Dr Phil the benefit of the doubt and assuming this woman is lying and the reports that he is violent, serial adulterer, etc are false we can still surmise that his practice ability is tainted, at best.

          He clearly and willingly entered into a dual relationship with a patient at his suggestion. This is like the biggest ethical thing. It is because of therapists like him that when I was in school 30 years later ethics class was pounding in “dont do dual relationships” for like 2/3rds of the semester, because a ton of the stupid boomers in his generation abused their power and fucked their clients like total scumbags. You cannot be friends with your therapist. Your therapist cannot be impartial. Your therapist has a power differential over you. It is fucked up if your therapist says “let’s hang out”, “come work for me”, or whatever. If you say it and your therapist accepts equally bad!

          The timing of surrendering his license is hella sus. His tv show started in 2002 so it’s like I guess he just figured he was finally good without it right? Yeah, maybe, except he hadn’t been in actual clinical practice since like 1990. After the whole SJM issue he went into courtroom consulting which led to a tv show about that which connected him to Oprah which led to the show we all know him for. But this meant he was now a prominent figure, especially a few years into it when it was clear that it was popular and going to stick around. Conjecture: he dropped his license because he feared SJM (or someone else) would pop back up and it would result in a board hearing, which can be public (thus the pdf above). The standards are lower for initiation than criminal charges, especially by 2006. He also may have done this out of fear of being called out for a practice engaged in on his show but this is less likely considering the practice did not occur in the state of Texas (where he was licensed)

          His practice style is garbage. Therapy in the 1990s and early 2000s was far more confrontational, breaking you down, and “fixing you” and he was a key player in this fucked up trend. 0 evidence for it because it was based in nothing, it was farmed for spectacle of daytime tv. Your emotions were obstacles to overcome. Send your kids to bootcamp. Look at how weird these people are. This shit is rooted in AA and NA, which is a whole different topic of toxic “tough love” bullshit. He was not alone though - Jerry springer, Montel, sally jesse Raphael, the demon oprah (before the you get a car she was right along with these people), all portrayed dysfunction for theater with a thin veneer of “therapy”. Dr Phil legitimized it because he was the only one with actual credentials, despite surrendering his licensure.

          ————

          As a result of all this he legally cannot call himself Dr. Phil, psychologist. This is a frequent point of debate and he is a frequent example. Words like “professional counselor, psychologist, surgeon, lawyer, judge, etc” are protected titles. You can face legal consequences for advertising services if you don’t have the proper credentials to back it up.

          But in the modern mental health landscape we have dilemmas here: what about a therapist? A life coach? These are not. They are general. Anyone can call themselves a life coach. There appears to be effort amongst life coaches to formalize the title. To the laymen this is confusing though. Who do you trust? We already added a bunch of new shit in the early 2000s for masters level clinicians: licensed clinical social worker, licensed professional counselor, licensed marriage and family therapist. And these vary by state slightly plus there are some states with extras for trainee versions! It’s a lot to ask a laymen to understand all that when most of my clients don’t know the difference between psychiatrist (md) and psychologist (PhD)

          And then you get to the Dr Phil dilemma. He has surrendered his license. Or maybe someone in his case has lost it through malfeasance even, say he did sexually assault that woman in the 80s and the board investigated that. Neither of those things change the fact that he still attended graduate school, completed coursework and dissertation, and was awarded a doctorate. But to the laymen, “Dr.” is the professional identifier. So do you strip him of that? Very controversial! I don’t know. I do know what Dr Phil is doing feels disingenuous though. He is portraying himself as a tv psychologist

          • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            I had heard about a few of those things through the Behind the Bastards episode, but your breakdown is spectacular. I’d been looking for the evidence of his shit with the 19 year old for a while - it seems like it’s been really suppressed. Thanks for the disciplinary file, that’s going in a few places.

            I loathe the man. I think he normalized a lot of the fucked up shit I experienced in “therapy” as a teenager - the idea that it’s supposed to make you “normal,” that you just need to be berated into toughening up. That type of outdoor program (I did end up in a hellish “partial inpatient” program) was always a threat growing up and I internalized a lot of the “you are a bad kid” when I was a straight edge kid with good grades, just fucking neurodiverse!

            • ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              4 days ago

              When I was a younger more insecure clinician, about a decade ago probably, his impact was still far reaching. I had many pediatric clients that had parents that would consider those wholly unregulated abuse farms he regularly advertised on his show. The ones where they’d like fake kidnap you and then basically have a random guy with no credentials or training play army boot camp (and maybe molest you). That’s another whole different post though. And they wanted military school, and the idea of reinforcement based parenting over punishment was just a concept that simply wouldn’t connect (and still doesn’t for many)

              I despise the man, he is representative of a disgusting part of our culture that glorifies celebrating toxic masculinity and emotional suppression. A charlatan. The fact that he is worth half a billion dollars and myself and many of my colleagues are still struggling to pay my student loans and have no health insurance is absolutely disgusting.

        • Kyrgizion@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          In addition, a great deal of the “self-help” sphere is circular, meaning you just keep going from one (sometimes costly) method to the next. It’s not designed to solve your issues but to keep them perpetual.

        • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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          4 days ago

          You finally get the gist of society…it’s doing whatever it takes to force you into a mold, no matter how much it may harm or even kill you.

  • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works
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    4 days ago

    I’m not sure terrible things actually make anyone “stronger” or more resilient. I do think they can make us more callous and numb, though.

    I guess that’s what many people confuse with strength.

  • cows_are_underrated@feddit.org
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    4 days ago

    Going through a lot of shit might make you “stronger” (in terms of more resilient) to shit happening, but it shouldn’t be something to be proud of. For me getting more resilient to bullying meant also, that I was, and to some degree still Am, living with massive distrust in myself. It taught me to better not say an*thing than to say something that I didnt thought through hundert times, because everything else has benn used against me. It took years to unlearn the patterns that years of getting bullied forced me into. Yeah, I Am stronger now and I definitely do not care that much anymore, but the price was high. If I could choose I would 100% decide to not have to go through the stuff I had to go through.

  • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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    4 days ago

    There is a song by Silversun Pickups, called “It doesn’t matter why” that I think nails the feeling of:
    It doesn’t really matter what or why we are broken but it’s just the reality and trying to over analyze to “understand” it might not be as helpful as accepting it and working with us.

    I think people want to think of it ( any disability) as simple and solveable so that they are comforted that it wouldn’t stop them if they had it.

  • lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    I think I was tough before my trauma, and I still am. However, my trauma added anxiety, crippling doubt, and low self-esteem.

    Sometimes I like to tell myself that my trauma contributed to my toughness, though. It is part of a narrative that I use to rev myself up when I am hard up against it. I know that it is bullshit on some level, but it’s like the placebo effect.

  • kelpie_is_trying@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    My only contradiction on this is that the experience of trauma has definitely made me stronger in that I’ve learned to identify problematic elements before they overwhelm me in many ways. Other than that tho…yeah. It mostly just hurts more when the world keeps laying it on. Even if I know I have improved myself for it, trauma has still ruined me.

  • moonbunny@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    4 days ago

    Yuuup, I really don’t think my traumas made me “stronger” or “thick-skinned”, but instead I feel like I’m even more fragile than before, sensitive and still just as easy to cry.

    Now I struggle to talk or hold conversations because I get exhausted from thinking up of response options and picking the most appropriate ones for the context and gauge the level of sharing to give in personal responses, usually by then there’s already a shift to a different topic or interest, and then my process resets.

    It’s hard since letting my mouth run has gotten me into a lot of trouble/getting bullied and sometimes, hurt people.

    Then there’s the fun part where since I’m accustomed to unsafe situations/interactions, my nervous system sends signals that I’m unsafe when I’m in safe situations/interactions and I… kinda just lock up since my experiences with feelings of safety is that it’s usually short-lived and something bad is going to drop and I gotta prepare somehow

  • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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    4 days ago

    And that is why I talk to AI, and have a strong set of rules on what I can say and tolerate.

    This is why I nearly attacked a co-worker who framed me.