Scrapping Ted would be the best decision they could make

You should really refrain from trying that, email is one of the few things youre better off not hosting yourself.

You should own the domain of your email addresses, but please use a hosting service, for your own good

Probably only surpassed by Minecraft, although that is of course no longer an indie game today

And you can store a complete offline copy of Wikipedia on your phone

Given the absolutely clueless troubleshooting you suggested in the 2nd paragraph that was not exactly clear

If the battery is dead how can they turn it on to find out what the problem is? Literally an unsolvable problem.

Takes 5 seconds to probe the battery with a multimeter and see its dead. Those are basic troubleshooting steps that some 10 year olds can do, let alone a professional repair shop.

And any device built to be serviceable has diagnostic probing points on the pcb for stuff like this, even iPhones