Pardon me if these questionings are offensive in any way. That is not my intention. I am merely curious on the intricacies of the N-word and its uses.
It is commonly known, I think, that white people oughn’t say it, something which doesn’t extend to Black people. I wonder, though, if white people think of the word, in their head (assuming the person has some sort of inmer monologue). I would imagine thinking the word might increase one’s propensity to utter the word aloud. Or perhaps not. Certainly further exposure to content that features said language must increase one’s likelihood of using the term, no? Even if one never makes use of it aloud, surely the chances hypotetically increase, no?
Race is a social construct anyways, so what exactly are races? What defines a race? Is it from a 'Murican perspective? Asian is a race, innit? Is Latin American a race? If so, do white Latin Americans, or those with European descent, is that part of such race? How does the usage of the N-word apply to other races, assuming such thing?
Edit: I imagine race doesn’t just boil down to skin colour, right? There’s more to it than white = light skinned and Black = dark skinned, innit?
Edit 2: Maybe this was better for NoStupidQuestions. I may have mistankenly gone too soon for Ask Lemmy, seeing it is a question.
I’d like to add I am not questioning the N-word itself. I would not say it. I comprehend it is offensive. Seeing as it gets used by Black people, and it’s not to be used by white people, I was merely wondering on how this goes exactly. Whether it boils down to Black vs. non-Black, and what exactly defines being Black. (And also the part about thinking the word)
To add, I am not 'Murican, so no need to assume that. English isn’t even me first language.
Edit 3: to be very clear, I DO NOT WISH TO USE THE N-WORD. And I am not looking for some sort of loophole. I am merely trying to better understand things. I apologise if this is of any offense to Black people, as it is not my intention to harm anyone
Edit 4: mods, if needed be, you can safely delete this post. Not that you needed permission. I’d just like to let known if this is any problem, deletion is fine by me. I don’t intent on causing issues
To try and answer what you’re asking genuinely, since I don’t see indication that this is bad-faith:
The reason African-Americans and some black people get a “pass” to use it isn’t because it isn’t offensive. Its because they’re expected to have a better understanding of their own oppression than someone who hasn’t lived with it, and because it can generally be assumed to not have racist connotations. The word has such heavy history that if someone who isn’t black uses it, it is usually (and reasonably) assumed to be racism. Even among those who are black, theres a lot of nuance, with many feeling uncomfortable with saying it, either because the word is so loaded that it can be offensive reguardless, or because they don’t feel like they’re connected enough to the history to have the “right” to say it (I.E. someone who grew up in a black-majority country might feel this way.)
Just to add to this: It was a term used by white people for slaves, it is directly linked to slavery. This is what makes it so offensive, particularly in the context of the US, if your ancestors weren’t slaves, or even from Africa.
A rough explicit version would be to call someone ‘slave’ to their face. The US context adds insult to injury because descendants of former masters and slaves are living together, so not only is it a personal insult, but a cultural one. Like saying ‘you should still be slaves’. White people know this, nobody can’t claim ignorance, this makes it even MORE offensive, because the speaker doesn’t have the benefit of the doubt.
Don’t say it. That’s the rule.
You get a pass from a black friend? Cool. Still don’t say it.
Come up in a black neighborhood, only white kid, they say “it’s cool” because y’all grew up together? Don’t say it.
It’s about respect. If you’re not black, don’t say it.
Nobody should say it imo and I mean nobody, some words can just be left in the past.
Pretty much it, I’ve been made an “honorary black man” twice, once for handling my self well at a black fraternity a former roommate was joining, and once… well, for the alleged size of my wedding tackle. I don’t count that last one as a good reason, but I didn’t say it.
Are you black? No? Don’t say it. Don’t sing it. Do your best to remove it from your mental vocabulary and thoughts as well. Its an ugly word from an ugly time, that a fear we’re heading towards again, so… yeah. Just no.
Remember, race doesn’t matter. This is class warfare. We are villagers trying to survive pillaging dragons, ending lives and hoarding wealth with no benefit to any sort of greater good.
This is a time of dragons, look to the dragon slayers of old for guidance.
For me, the only grey area where it might be acceptable for a white person to use it in any circumstances is if they’re reading or quoting a very old work of literature. What if you’re reading Huckleberry Finn aloud? You can say, “N-Word Jim,” but that seems off. Or you be reading historical accounts. If there’s some Jim Crow-era newspaper that just openly says the N word, censoring it may actually take away from the impact of the word.
But even in these cases, there’s probably a better way to handle this than to just outright say the N word. I’m just not sure what that way is.
I’m glad you pointed out that this is in reference to old literature. Whenever I see a white person singing to a song and they say it “because it’s just part of the song,” hard cringe. Just didn’t say it. Skip the word. It’s easy.
A good example I can think of is that young white man at the DNC singing along with Not Like Us who was so joyous and animated and went viral. When it came to the n-word, he just skipped it. Just fist pumping and keeping the energy, and closing his mouth for one word. A lot of people noticed and were grateful that he was respectful in this way.
What if I’m singing along to a song written and performed by a black artist?
Find better songs.
This might sound dumb, so bear with me.
I grew up in a super poor city, predominantly black. All my friends from there listened to hip hop where it was used a lot, they said it, their families said it, etc…
What I did was sub that word with another when I was singing. It became a habit. I thought that was a better idea than getting into the habit of singing it, where I might slip up and say it around them (since it was commonly used around there).
It’s a lot easier to create a new habit than break an old one, you know?
This sounds like a decent approach, although it might struggle in instances where the n word is key to a rhyme.
For example, in Nas’ NY State of Mind, there’s the sequence:
But just a n___a walkin’ with his finger on the trigger
Make enough figures until my pockets get biggerIf I’m singing along to that, I now tend to leave a blank space rather than substitute another word. Especially because another word which rhymed could easily be mistaken for the real thing!
I would absolutely never use the word in casual speech, but there was a brief period in the past where I felt that it was more respectful to the artist/material to use the words exactly as written.
However I realised that I would only ever do that when I was alone - and thinking about why that was the case made me rethink what was really most important and stop doing even that.
I use “brother” in my head when I’m listening to music.
I use “kitty”. It amuses me when Straight Outta Compton becomes about kitties with attitude
I personally don’t like hearing it, even from African Americans.
I won’t say anything about it when I hear them say it, but I’ll call anyone else out.
Likewise, I don’t like hearing other racist terms used for other nationalities. Humans as a species share 99% of the same DNA. We’re basically a monoculture, which is why pandemics are possible.
If you have to ask it ain’t for you
