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when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

  • Chloé 🥕@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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    2 months ago

    depends on your circles. in feminist and leftist circles, it usually means the first

    but most men outside of those circles use it just to mean “im not getting the dates i am ENTITLED to 😡”

            • Flamekebab@piefed.social
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              2 months ago

              Actively wanting to date someone less intelligent than oneself feels like predatorial behaviour.

                • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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                  2 months ago

                  Wait until you find out about the order of magnitude of greater doubt there is when a man is attacked by a woman.

                  Signed, a male who was molested by a female as a child, then told it’s literally “impossible” for rape to happen in that direction when he futilely sought support.

            • Sergio@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              I can’t believe people are downvoting you, I totally heard something similar about some guys who don’t like dating women who make more money than they do… It’s just kinda funny to see “PhD” sticking out like that…

            • LiveLM@lemmy.zip
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              2 months ago

              She has higher education -> She earns more -> “She can’t be earning more than me, I’m supposed to provide for the household!!!”

              I assume it’s something along those lines?

              • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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                2 months ago

                Perhaps it’s a self worth thing. If she’s making more than you, what reason does she need to keep you around if someone else comes along?

            • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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              2 months ago

              I haven’t got along well with any of the women with PHDs I’ve known but it wasn’t a very large sample size for me to write them off as a whole. If I ran into too many more that had the same personality type as the ones I met I might consider it though because they were frustrating to be around. It wasn’t that they were smarter than me, it was that they wouldn’t even listen to me on subjects I was more knowledgeable about.

          • Septimaeus@infosec.pub
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            2 months ago

            Most who have pursued a PhD, and all who attain it, are the lost ones.

            These poor souls live only a half life now. He was right to fear her.

            • phdepressed@sh.itjust.works
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              2 months ago

              We have walked through the valley of insanity, bashed our heads on the walls of frustration only to seek the next valley, the next wall for we thought we glimpsed enlightenment only a decade ago and have dreamed of it since. Sayeth not whether one draws close or hath traversed a false path. Half a life! Bah! A whole life and more is demanded and others too drawn in, burn thy candle from every end lest thou be cursed with an eternal postdoc and irrelevance.

              PhD=permanent head damage lol.

            • Sergio@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              “She has spent many years pursuing one small insignificant thing. Surely she will not give up on me any sooner!”

              e: the more I think about it, the less sense it makes. wouldn’t even the manliest man want an advisor who is smarter than he? What Arthur does not have his Merlin? What Corleone does not have his consigliere?

        • cheezy@lemmy.ml
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          2 months ago

          She has kids

          I understand this perspective only if someone wants to remain childfree; it’s impossible to compromise on having kids or not, you either do or you don’t

          If it’s just because he only wants his own biological kids, I’m less sympathetic

          • golli@sopuli.xyz
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            2 months ago

            Depends on the specific circumstances, but i feel like it can be just as much of an issue, if you want children and don’t even care if they are biologically related to you.

            Depending on how much the other parent of ones stepchildren is involved in their lives and their age, taking on a parenting role might not be wanted or even allowed. So you might have children living in your house, but won’t ever have a complete parental relationship with them. You will always have that additional relationship that needs to be build around, whether that be vacations or where you live.

            • cheezy@lemmy.ml
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              2 months ago

              That’s fair - I suppose there is more complexity & nuance for those situations than I initially thought about

        • SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social
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          2 months ago

          Honestly, though, that sounds like an avoidant attachment style. He desperately wants intimacy, but it scares the bejeezus out of him, so he unconsciously finds a way to sandbag every potential connection.

    • jonne@infosec.pub
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      2 months ago

      Oh, so it’s just the deliberate misunderstanding of a nuanced term, like what they did with toxic masculinity.

    • Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip
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      2 months ago

      You got that backwards. Feminist and lefty leaning circles routinely dismiss the first as the second which is partly responsible for pushing young men further right.