For those out of the loop, WomensStuff has a women-only rule, where men are respectfully asked to not reply to posts.
If not commenting is too hard… maybe a setting where you can only comment if you’ve subscribed would be cool
What I find interesting here is that this all self identification and self reporting.
There’s no mechanism in Lemmy to force a user into such identification, so it is all voluntary.
I just want to point out that ITT there are people who simultaneously refuse to recognize how men only spaces are demonized and refuse to back down about women needing women only spaces.
You fucking idiots are the reason the Proud Boys happen. Your thoughts are stupid and destructive in the same way that someone driving too slow on the highway is.
Stupid expectation to have. If they want women posts/comments only, lemmy needs a feature for communities not to be advertised on the main page unless subscribed, to keep people from accidentally replying. Or does that feature exist and they are intentionally not using it?
Honestly, excluding any gender from commenting on the public internet is fucking braindead stupid. Also - how do they define “woman”?
easy self-check for these things:
is it OK for group A to do X? is it OK for group B to do X? …
if the answer is not the same for all the groups you can reasonably think of, something about your morals is off.
not everyone will agree whether X is OK to do. but at least you can detect, whether you are biased yourself.
From my own experience, women-only spaces tend to revolve around men, ironically. I can almost bet my left ball on the fact that top post on that sub is about men, not women.
EDIT: Just checked it, I was right. Some post about men being afraid to speak at work, but my point was simply that most of the women-spaces are men-disregarding spaces, there’s not much to it, basically an echo chamber circlejerk.
Why are there so many dudes here that can’t handle the concept of not sharing their opinion on everything? I think it’s valuable to learn to just listen sometimes. A community for people commonly talked over, mansplained to, and not taken seriously should be seen as a good thing. As a cis man, I think there’s a lot of value in that for my demographic as well, because diversity is interesting.
Also I think a lot of people are willingly missing the point of this post! Nobody is going to crucify you for accidentally commenting, it’s up to you to realize your mistake. Honor system.
I’ll try to explain why women want and need a women only space here.
It is actually quite easy and has mostly to do with how many men there are on Lemmy compared to women.
Let’s say I post a question on WomensStuff. I might get 10 answers from women and one answer from a very nice and respectful men. So, no harm was done, right?
Well if you allow everybody to participate you will quickly get a lot of “not a woman, but …” type of answers. The 10 original comments made by the demographic that was actually targeted will be quickly drowned out.
This is how every post is on here. That is just how it is but that’s ok. What we want is just one small part of Lemmy where we can talk among ourselves without being overshadowed. Just accept that because our lovely mods will not back down.
If you’re tired of seeing our posts, no worries! Just block the community or ask to be banned. No harm will be done and we can continue with our nice supportive community.
Clearly the solution here is a publicly seen WomenStuff with whitelisted posters, and an ancillary public community called PeanitsGallery where all talk about the WomenStuff.
deleted by creator
Blocked that comm, just so I wouldn’t accidentally violate that rule. No sense in getting emotionally invested in a post I’m not allowed to discuss.
This discussion reminds me of a party/orgy/something I saw being promoted and in the description it says that it was female/trans oriented (female and male trans included), but that they weren’t going to police anyone’s gender, but asked cis males to respect and didn’t participate.
This has always been one of the top tier funniest meme images to me.
The fucking comments on here are insane. It’s not a private comm, and pretty much every comment that’s been deleted for being posted by a male user was because they explicitly stated they were male. As in started off a comment (usually on women’s issues) with “as a guy…”
Go on a linux forum and post “as a windows user…”
Go on PC gamers and post “as a console gamer…”
Would have a problem with being told “this is not for you” then? No, you wouldn’t. You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak. Get over it.
And to those who demand it be taken off all: fucking learn how to curate your own experience. Skip over or block it the same way you would other communities that have nothing for you
Also similar to why religious (online) comunities will usually deny the talk if “dissents” (also atheist comunities having rules against proselytizing, which do makes sense)
In the end, it sums up to “Don’t be an asshole” rule
To add the most blatant and widespread version of “as a man”:
“But in the usa…”
You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak. Get over it.
Isn’t the goal to move past this behavior when based on immutable qualities rather than merit? The ethical value of a reverse country club model is pretty controversial.
Go on a linux forum and post “as a windows user…”
Go on PC gamers and post “as a console gamer…”
Would have a problem with being told “this is not for you” then? No, you wouldn’t.
This is a terrible example, because yes absolutely I would indeed consider the mods to be militant over-the-top a-holes if they deleted and blocked all comments just because they were from Windows or console users.
Consider what the word “majority” means and how that impacts the balance of such discussions. Especially on a platform where people vote on each other’s comments.
In the Linux forum example, the occasional “as a Windows user…” comment isn’t a problem, but it does become one when it makes up 80-90% of comments / visitors. Try to understand how this shapes a community when the relatively few directly affected people (for whom the community was created in the first place) are annoyed by this and stop contributing.
This is why you need both kinds of spaces, and why it’s silly and short-sighted to get mad over this policy.
The person you are replying to never mentioned their stance on the rule in question, only the analogies used by the original commenter… Which are terrible analogies both for skisnow’s reasoning, and your comment as well.
They are not the same thing, because of the power dynamics at play, and I think most people in either a linux forum or PC gaming forum would react negatively if the mods banned people for one comment made while not being the “target demographic”.
Also, someone can use both linux and windows. Someone can play PC games and console. They might have valuable insight having experiences from both.
That doesn’t really apply to a women’s only community. (although I am curious what WomensStuff’s stance on Trans people is - I don’t know of the community that much to be honest).
Facts right here. Learn how to let people have their own space. Sometimes a thing isn’t meant for you, and that’s okay.
Yeah, I concur. When I learned I wasn’t allowed to speak there, I simply blocked it and moved on. They can have whatever rules they want. No one is obligated to be there.
On the flip side, I can see it being irksome to click a post and have your comment be deleted because you didn’t notice that community it was or didn’t read every rule for every community.
I’ll wager the vast majority of users don’t read community rules until they run afoul of one. Personally, I just shrug it off and move on, it’s not like whining about it is going to make an entire community change it’s rules to accommodate you.
I feel based on the name of the community, some rules would be obvious. But a “absolutely nothing from you, male scum” isn’t obvious.
I posted one there yesterday or this morning, haven’t checked on it, but it’s probably deleted now. No harm no foul. It wasn’t meant to break a rule, and they can do what they want. But I would’ve never even known if not for this post.
But I will be blocking the sub now. Both because I’m apparently not welcome, and because I will probably accidentally do it again otherwise.
Edit: It wasn’t that sub after checking. Phew. One less toxic place to be.
“male scum” oof. Maybe cool it a little with the self-victimization, friend.
If you genuinely don’t understand why it’s helpful to have both kinds of spaces and not something to get mad about, I’m happy to explain. But some good-faith effort on your part is required.
“Women only…trans women are women, and gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (eg non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a woman’s community is a good fit for them”
Literally does not say “male scum”, that’s something you’ve invented entirely. Wonder why that’s your response.
I feel based on the name of the community, some rules would be obvious. But a “absolutely nothing from you, male scum” isn’t obvious.
Rules…
Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women’s community is a good fit for them.
I understand, you’re a man, you have an opinion, and being told ‘no’ just won’t cut it, will it?
Did you miss the first 9 words you quoted or something? Seems like you’re misrepresenting what was said in quite a profound way.
OP claims it’s not obvious from the title; you claim it’s obvious from the rules; Both of these statements can be true at the same time.
Also, now that they’re aware, they’ve blocked the community to prevent any engagement… Can you explain how that translates to them not accepting the situation?
Eh, irkers can sit down. It’s long been a thing about paying attention to community rules before posting, and if you don’t and violate them, you don’t get to whinge.
To be fair the vast, vast majority of the rules are simply common sense stuff. If you are not an asshole, you can avoid reading community rules and in 99% of case you won’t violate any.
You’re literally just not used to being told it’s not your turn to speak.
I respect their rules on that community as browsing Everything (Sync) it shows up for me fairly regularly and I haven’t had any issues.
I reject the part I literally quoted.
I care about precision in communication and fighting against entropic decay in how we communicate so I feel compelled to respond to this quote.
I am a male and because of that I have no turn to speak there so you are flat out wrong. It will never be my turn. It is inaccurate what you are saying.
Please consider reframing what you said.
and using literally there makes your error much more egregious, literally
Mate, i’m ASD and saying dial it back.
I’m not ASD and saying nobody cares about your diagnosis.
BS, we had the same argument on Reddit
- TwoX was militant about no guys
- whatever men’s subreddit was welcoming to women’s reply but wanted them to be honest what gender they were
So as a guy on some men only subreddit, I also welcomed the opinion of women while expecting them to clarify.
As a nerd in many “year of Linux on the desktop” debates, I welcomed constructive opinions from the benighted fools
As a PC gamer I want to game with my buddies so yes I want the opinion of those on consoles
So as a guy on some men only subreddit, I also welcomed the opinion of women while expecting them to clarify.
So you’re ok with a community defining how it wants people outside its demographic to interact with it?
Also you literally do not have to interact with the community. No one is shoving it in your face or demanding you join and then going HAHAHHAHA PSYCH you can literally just scroll past it.
No other publically visible community has posts that I find interesting but am not allowed to interact with.
