I would feel like it is my responsibility to contribute equally or more. I wouldn’t feel “horrible”, but I, personally, would use it as motivation to start looking for a job that pays more.
Instead of equality, aim for equity. If everything is 50/50 but one person makes double what the other does, the lower earner is paying more than their fair share.
Indeed. Back when we first moved in together, my wife and I split the bills around 80/20. It wasn’t quite lined up with our relative incomes that year, but it was pretty close, and it meant that we both saved more money in our respective budgets than living separately.
Fast forward (or is it ‘flash forward’ now?) to today, tbh I have no idea what the split is. I cover the mortgage and power, she covers the water bill and has me on her health plan through work. Groceries get paid by the person stopping at the store – again, no idea what the split is.
I count us fortunate that we’re able to pay the bills without a lot of worry. Inflation has been a beast the past couple of years, but we’re weathering that storm.
No… the way that I worked harder to get my last pay raise. By identifying the intersection of my interests and market needs in my workplace, doing a mix of theoretical study and practice in my free time, and applying for other jobs so I would have leverage to negotiate.
Seriously, some of yall are such doomers. Yes it is possible to get paid more. No, you won’t become, like, a billionaire - but you can gradually push your pay up through the pay scale over the course of your career if you want to. Learn new skills, be pro-social and make friends with coworkers, be a good employee and team player, work hard and create value while making sure you are recognized for it, regularly apply for new jobs - if only to see how hard you can twist someone’s arm for a pay raise, and make strategic changes in your career path if you see your current one stagnating. When you have valuable skills and experience, you can use these skills to negotiate for higher pay - this is economics 101. None of it is novel or difficult to figure out. You literally just have to put in the effort when it is boring, uncomfortable, socially awkward, scary, frustrating, and annoying. 95% of people do this almost never and that is totally fine. If you like your current job and pay scale, there is no reason to change. But if you want something different, the path is right there, waiting to be walked.
This is an important point/nuance in this space. There’s a fair amount that we can each do as individuals to improve our lots. It doesn’t mean the system is fair or reasonable, but it does mean we have a little more agency than the “doomer” rhetoric suggests.
It’s rare to see any sort of optimism in these threads.
Sure, your numbers are probably correct. But also I was thinking of, like, someone who makes 45k dating someone who makes 150k - eg, a teacher dating a doctor or something. I, personally, can’t imagine dating someone who makes, say, a 100 million dollar salary.
But a teacher can’t realistically increase their salary to the doctor’s level through hard work.
Actually a doctor generally can’t increase much either unless they work private and are paid per patient.
In any case, using the 50k vs 150k example, the 150k earner will generally have more than 3x the disposable income. Still seems pretty unfair to split things 50/50.
It’s easier just dating someone in the same income bracket.
And my point is that your standards for relationship fairness are not the same as mine, and I’m not accepting them as objective truth as implied by the imperative you led with two comments ago.
I would feel like it is my responsibility to contribute equally or more. I wouldn’t feel “horrible”, but I, personally, would use it as motivation to start looking for a job that pays more.
Instead of equality, aim for equity. If everything is 50/50 but one person makes double what the other does, the lower earner is paying more than their fair share.
Indeed. Back when we first moved in together, my wife and I split the bills around 80/20. It wasn’t quite lined up with our relative incomes that year, but it was pretty close, and it meant that we both saved more money in our respective budgets than living separately.
Fast forward (or is it ‘flash forward’ now?) to today, tbh I have no idea what the split is. I cover the mortgage and power, she covers the water bill and has me on her health plan through work. Groceries get paid by the person stopping at the store – again, no idea what the split is.
I count us fortunate that we’re able to pay the bills without a lot of worry. Inflation has been a beast the past couple of years, but we’re weathering that storm.
You can do that if you want. I’m not going to. I would work harder to get a better job so I could contribute my fair share.
Work harder the same way billionaires work harder right?
No… the way that I worked harder to get my last pay raise. By identifying the intersection of my interests and market needs in my workplace, doing a mix of theoretical study and practice in my free time, and applying for other jobs so I would have leverage to negotiate.
Seriously, some of yall are such doomers. Yes it is possible to get paid more. No, you won’t become, like, a billionaire - but you can gradually push your pay up through the pay scale over the course of your career if you want to. Learn new skills, be pro-social and make friends with coworkers, be a good employee and team player, work hard and create value while making sure you are recognized for it, regularly apply for new jobs - if only to see how hard you can twist someone’s arm for a pay raise, and make strategic changes in your career path if you see your current one stagnating. When you have valuable skills and experience, you can use these skills to negotiate for higher pay - this is economics 101. None of it is novel or difficult to figure out. You literally just have to put in the effort when it is boring, uncomfortable, socially awkward, scary, frustrating, and annoying. 95% of people do this almost never and that is totally fine. If you like your current job and pay scale, there is no reason to change. But if you want something different, the path is right there, waiting to be walked.
This is an important point/nuance in this space. There’s a fair amount that we can each do as individuals to improve our lots. It doesn’t mean the system is fair or reasonable, but it does mean we have a little more agency than the “doomer” rhetoric suggests.
It’s rare to see any sort of optimism in these threads.
Realistically you can get what? 10x more than your starting salary though the course of your career?
Whereas being born into the right family means you can be paid 1000x for a fraction of the effort.
Would you want to split it 50/50 with a person like that?
Sure, your numbers are probably correct. But also I was thinking of, like, someone who makes 45k dating someone who makes 150k - eg, a teacher dating a doctor or something. I, personally, can’t imagine dating someone who makes, say, a 100 million dollar salary.
But a teacher can’t realistically increase their salary to the doctor’s level through hard work.
Actually a doctor generally can’t increase much either unless they work private and are paid per patient.
In any case, using the 50k vs 150k example, the 150k earner will generally have more than 3x the disposable income. Still seems pretty unfair to split things 50/50.
It’s easier just dating someone in the same income bracket.
My point is that in the context of a relationship, fair can mean different things.
And my point is that your standards for relationship fairness are not the same as mine, and I’m not accepting them as objective truth as implied by the imperative you led with two comments ago.