If your girlfriend makes a lot more than you, and she pays for your dates, trips, etc., do you feel bad about it or no?

  • blarghly@lemmy.world
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    29 days ago

    You can do that if you want. I’m not going to. I would work harder to get a better job so I could contribute my fair share.

      • blarghly@lemmy.world
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        29 days ago

        And my point is that your standards for relationship fairness are not the same as mine, and I’m not accepting them as objective truth as implied by the imperative you led with two comments ago.

      • blarghly@lemmy.world
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        29 days ago

        No… the way that I worked harder to get my last pay raise. By identifying the intersection of my interests and market needs in my workplace, doing a mix of theoretical study and practice in my free time, and applying for other jobs so I would have leverage to negotiate.

        Seriously, some of yall are such doomers. Yes it is possible to get paid more. No, you won’t become, like, a billionaire - but you can gradually push your pay up through the pay scale over the course of your career if you want to. Learn new skills, be pro-social and make friends with coworkers, be a good employee and team player, work hard and create value while making sure you are recognized for it, regularly apply for new jobs - if only to see how hard you can twist someone’s arm for a pay raise, and make strategic changes in your career path if you see your current one stagnating. When you have valuable skills and experience, you can use these skills to negotiate for higher pay - this is economics 101. None of it is novel or difficult to figure out. You literally just have to put in the effort when it is boring, uncomfortable, socially awkward, scary, frustrating, and annoying. 95% of people do this almost never and that is totally fine. If you like your current job and pay scale, there is no reason to change. But if you want something different, the path is right there, waiting to be walked.

        • elephantium@lemmy.world
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          29 days ago

          Yes it is possible to get paid more

          This is an important point/nuance in this space. There’s a fair amount that we can each do as individuals to improve our lots. It doesn’t mean the system is fair or reasonable, but it does mean we have a little more agency than the “doomer” rhetoric suggests.

          It’s rare to see any sort of optimism in these threads.

        • CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world
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          29 days ago

          Realistically you can get what? 10x more than your starting salary though the course of your career?

          Whereas being born into the right family means you can be paid 1000x for a fraction of the effort.

          Would you want to split it 50/50 with a person like that?

          • blarghly@lemmy.world
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            28 days ago

            Sure, your numbers are probably correct. But also I was thinking of, like, someone who makes 45k dating someone who makes 150k - eg, a teacher dating a doctor or something. I, personally, can’t imagine dating someone who makes, say, a 100 million dollar salary.

            • CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world
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              28 days ago

              But a teacher can’t realistically increase their salary to the doctor’s level through hard work.

              Actually a doctor generally can’t increase much either unless they work private and are paid per patient.

              In any case, using the 50k vs 150k example, the 150k earner will generally have more than 3x the disposable income. Still seems pretty unfair to split things 50/50.

              It’s easier just dating someone in the same income bracket.