• 0 Posts
  • 17 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
cake
Cake day: August 2nd, 2023

help-circle




  • I know someone who just got hired at an unfinished Meta data center, ostensibly to do some low-level hardware monitoring and maintenance. His boss admitted that he accidentally hired people a couple months too early, so the first couple weeks have consisted of sitting around, eating free food and playing mobile games. Next week they’re being flown to an active data center out of state, but they won’t have much of their own work to do for another 4-6 weeks.

    So these guys are being paid $25/hr, 40hrs a week, with a free lunch, and making no money for the company. I would expect any other company to find this unacceptable, but it’s just a drop in the bucket for Meta.













  • I’m a therapist who works almost exclusively with men. Here one pattern I’ve seen often:

    • Man is conditioned from a young age not to identify, process or express his feelings
    • Man doesn’t share his feelings with anyone - friends, family, partners - for years
    • Man sees woman as safe, caring and validating
    • Man confides in woman only and continues not sharing feelings with others
    • Woman becomes overwhelmed, resentful, dismissive
    • Man gets the message that he never should have opened up in the first place

    It can be true both that men need to open up more and should not treat their partners as therapists. We all need support systems because no one person can always be available to give us everything we need. It’s not wrong to confide in a partner, but if that partner is the only confidant it’s precarious for both. And I want to emphasize this is not the fault of a man, or men as a community. This is the result of generations of conditioning from both men and women, and both men and women play a part in the solution. I also want to recognize that many of us don’t have a network of people we could open up to even if we wanted to, and many more can’t afford therapy.

    If anyone reading this can afford therapy, I highly recommend it. It’s a place to undo some of that conditioning, to sit with someone who’s committed to listening, caring, and not judging.