Matt Parker is a YouTuber who teaches about cool math shit. He is here instead of Drake because Drake is a hunk of human shit.

Using ephebophile Drake’s Hotline Bling meme format. 🚫

Replacing him with Matt Parker who just wants to see the world learn. 🙌

“CURTAINS FOR ZOOSHA? K-SMOG AND BATBOY CAUGHT FLIPPING A GRUNT.”

You don’t have to spend time with them. Your fiancé can go visit his shit family if he wants, but you have no obligation to ever share your time and space on them. I certainly wouldn’t.

Danielle Fishel, the actress who played the character Topanga Lawrence on the show Boy Meets World, is married to a comedian named Jensen Karp, who tweeted that he found shrimp tails in his box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

After his tweet went viral, writer Melissa Stetten alleged that he was an abuser and stated that other women had reached out to share their own allegations against Karp with her.

Karp being a “milkshake duck” refers to a June 2016 tweet from Aussie cartoonist Ben Ward which read

The whole internet loves Milkshake Duck, a lovely duck that drinks milkshakes! 5 seconds later We regret to inform you the duck is racist

It gave a name to the phenomenon of seemingly harmless individuals’ sordid pasts being called out after a brief brush with fame.

On March 24, 2021, Twitter user @BudrykZack tweeted “Shrimp Cereal Topanga Husband is a MeToo milkshake duck”. The accompanying image is taken from an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation called Darmok and is of the character named Darmok who is a member of the Tamarian species which speaks only in metaphors.

“MeToo” refers to the worldwide Me Too movement, that began in 2017, through which survivors of sexual assault and victims of sexual harrassment - mostly women - have come forward to announce their victimhood in order to bring to light how common such assaults are and to demand an end to rape culture.

My favorite piece of text from a few years ago that I was disgusted to be able to parse was “Shrimp cereal Topanga husband is a Me Too milkshake duck.”

Psst…the responder isn’t really the nurse from the story. It’s someone pretending to be the nurse and blurring names so that they can rile you up.

I am non-binary and have a bit of ED because of hormone replacement therapy, so I decided to be proactive last month and I bought a 2016 Jeep Renegade Trailhawk with about 35k miles.

Guillotines exist for a reason.

I spend money in New Orleans, sales tax is collected, which is appropriated in Baton Rouge. That will not be happening.

Welp…I was gonna visit NOLA one more time before moving from Texas to Oregon this summer and leaving the Deep South once and for all. But, as a public school teacher, I have to say this is completely and utterly monkeyfucked, and Louisiana isn’t getting a thin-ass dime from me.