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17 days agoSaw this was a .world account. Come over to dbzero or somewhere sane(er).
jadedwench [they/them]
First, I am a pan-sexual woman with severe ADHD and a sprinkling of BPD. If I have a meltdown or an episode, I am VERY sorry. Let me take 5, and I can apologize and be a reasonable human being again. None of this is an excuse, but it at least explains it. I assure you, I will be tearing myself apart with guilt and embarrassment for far longer than is healthy. I would be eternally grateful if you could have a little patience and not pour fuel on the fire. I would never wish any of these disorders on anyone. I will do my best.
Who am I? That is always a difficult question to answer as self introspection can be a rather painful and difficult exercise. I don’t believe we are always the same. We all change, but we do like to make the same choices over and over. If I had to sum myself up, I am a force of nature who cares too much.
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Joined 6 months ago
Cake day: February 16th, 2025
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2·28 days agoReminds me of 7th Guest
4·1 month agoBless you kind fae.
Is there even a remotely comfortable place for people to even talk about subjects like this without it devolving into “not all X” arguments and completely missing the point? I basically can’t talk about any of my day to day experiences with sexism without fearing the majority of lemmy users. I shouldn’t be fucking afraid dammit.
1·1 month agoAs a daily AMEX user, I think I have only run into 1 place that doesn’t take it here in the states. I do remember England being hit or miss at times, but that was over a decade ago. I don’t remember it being much of an issue in Germany either, but I didn’t use AMEX as often at that time.
6·2 months agoToday I was taking meds and immediately could not remember if I had taken Adderall yet, so I waited it out. I was pretty sure I hadn’t, but I also didn’t want to mess up. When it turned 2pm and I had not even remotely started doing anything useful, that answered my question…
Pill organizers don’t help and I need to visually see how many pills are left so I can put in a refill right away. I definitely go on the side of caution when going through all of the pills each morning. I try to make a pile first, but I will also take one or two of them while sorting and not notice. I have to break most of my pills, so I know how each one tastes, the texture, etc. This helps fix mistakes if my brain really doesn’t want to cooperate, with last resort of waiting if it is something really bad if I take double.
- Puts on jeans
- oh wait, I finished knitting that leg warmer, let’s wash it for blocking
- hmm, maybe I will let it dry and mould to my leg while I am working
- removes jeans and puts on long sweater as shorts are nowhere to be found
- watch random YouTube
- ugh, it is sliding down and I need to make the icord
- how do I make an icord again? Which yarn should I use?
- I can’t find that one specific needle size even though it doesn’t matter
- give up and start it
- shouldn’t I be working?
- get annoyed by teams messages and turn it off
- find different video and forget to continue icord
- stare blankly at work and go back to knitting
- what was I doing again?
- fuck, I really need to do work. What time is it?
- fuck. I definitely didn’t take my meds.
Insert other moments of confusion, stimming, and failures as needed.
Those feels. I hate all the time I “waste” due to indecision or distractions, but I still have to feel like I had free time or I will be depressed. It is even worse when things like work or other external factors that I did NOT plan for get in the way. Dopamine…where art thou?
This is why I get frustrated if I have to work late. I still need 4 hours or so of downtime, which means that if I am up until 1-2am and can’t wake up in time for the stupid morning standup, too damn bad. I am privileged that I can do that sometimes, but I have also worked 12-14 hour days for weeks on end at other jobs and even eating seemed like a waste of time.
PS: I do know that you have hunger issues Stamets. If you were in my area, I would feed the hell out of you.
0·2 months agoI feel like there are more important issues than obsessing over genitals and monopoly money for the entertainment industry. Maybe slow your roll on murdering people on the other side of the world? How about here too? Improve infrastructure? Housing? Enshrine abortion as a fucking legal right? Wages? Stop erasing the achievements of women and your crusade against dei? I could go on, but my life is already a giant mess this week.
Sure, why not.