I felt similarly to you, wasn’t really naive about what was involved but when we got into it after the birth it was like a cold shower - I questioned what I got myself into and felt super negative about it all. Babies crying also just seems to have this awful effect of making my blood boil too - amplified by poor sleeping from getting up multiple times in the night. Had to learn where my limits are and when to take a break/lean on my wife. My wife wanted 3 originally, which turned into 2 after we realized what having a kid is like lol, 2 is still a lot in my opinion.
Suffice to say it was extremely unpleasant for a while. Eventually, the kid started to become more interactive and that helped me significantly at least. When you can get a smile or a laugh out of them helps a lot. Slowly gets better as I can have little conversations with them now. It takes a while for that stuff to start happening though unfortunately.
I empathize with your situation though, at the time it felt like all the thoughts and feelings I was having were wrong and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. It’s frustrating when it feels like society is telling you you’re supposed to feel a certain way when you don’t. I wished my parents were more honest with me about what they were experiencing when they had me but I chalk that up to them honestly not remembering, so I swore I would do my best to remember how miserable it can get so I can be honest if my kids ever ask and they can make more informed decisions. I don’t regret having kids, they do bring me a lot of joy and pride as they get older now, but I regret making the decision to have them so lightly is all.
I felt similarly to you, wasn’t really naive about what was involved but when we got into it after the birth it was like a cold shower - I questioned what I got myself into and felt super negative about it all. Babies crying also just seems to have this awful effect of making my blood boil too - amplified by poor sleeping from getting up multiple times in the night. Had to learn where my limits are and when to take a break/lean on my wife. My wife wanted 3 originally, which turned into 2 after we realized what having a kid is like lol, 2 is still a lot in my opinion.
Suffice to say it was extremely unpleasant for a while. Eventually, the kid started to become more interactive and that helped me significantly at least. When you can get a smile or a laugh out of them helps a lot. Slowly gets better as I can have little conversations with them now. It takes a while for that stuff to start happening though unfortunately.
I empathize with your situation though, at the time it felt like all the thoughts and feelings I was having were wrong and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. It’s frustrating when it feels like society is telling you you’re supposed to feel a certain way when you don’t. I wished my parents were more honest with me about what they were experiencing when they had me but I chalk that up to them honestly not remembering, so I swore I would do my best to remember how miserable it can get so I can be honest if my kids ever ask and they can make more informed decisions. I don’t regret having kids, they do bring me a lot of joy and pride as they get older now, but I regret making the decision to have them so lightly is all.