The thousands of times I’ve taken trains and subways in NYC, I’ve seen some weird people, but never any scary ones, and the ny subway seems to have the worst reputation too.

That’s why high heels were created, to make men’s calves look sexier

She looks like she is trying to become handsome Squidward

No, and that’s the part that makes it feel weird

My mom switched to them recently. It felt vaguely racist, I don’t know

The 19th hole is the traditional joke name for the bar/restaurant that you go to after you finish playing. Not sure where you got sex from, but no, there is no sex involved in golf.

Oh, but I was hoping for a tiny Tom Cruise on a little motorcycle

The stock knobs are most likely plastic already, but I do agree the black knob looks stupid. It would probably look a lot better to print matching replacements for all of them.