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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: August 16th, 2023

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  • I agree! I was wanting a woman-oriented instance that could host things like ABTF. If I went with piefed it would help with voting being available to subscribers, but I would also like a way to have it hidden from /all. I would like to get it up and running but we’ll see.

    Even when I tried Victoria’s Secret, they never had pretty/sexy colors/styles in my “size” (they sized me incorrectly, too small at 34DDD). Even the calculator got me wrong and told me 34FF/F (too big). I ended up being 36E in Panache in certain styles. They are expensive, but I’ve been ordering it online at places that accepts returns to try on, then buy cheaper on places like ebay. I was also a 34G in Chantelle. Have you tried Polish bras? I think they are much more expensive but people on that sub were always bringing up Ewa Michalak. I haven’t tried it since I’ve found some consistency in Panache.

    I hate hand-washing btw, I usually throw them in a washing machine with a lingerie bag and air dry them but recently tried hand-washing and fuck that noise. I’m going to try to stick with hand-washing to extend the lifespan but ugh. I also managed to scrub off one of my bras’ label info on accident q.q It was so exhausting. I can’t imagine having to do that every day, so sorry.


  • No one’s mentioned bras and how they are significantly worse? Lets make arbitrary cup and band sizes, but then add in how each bra has a different shape and projection even in the same brand. Are you full on top, full on bottom, average, shallow? What about root width and height? Well you won’t know if any bra will fit until you try, even changing cup and band sizes won’t make a bra not made for your shape fit properly. Each brand does their own different sizing even in each bra, each global country has their own sizing system, and it is madness.







  • I’ve dealt with dating people with a video game addiction. We barely spent time together, let alone spoke to each other. And I played video games but didn’t spend my entire day doing it to the point of missing eating meals together, ignoring what my partner says to me, neglecting chores, losing sleep, etc. My partner gave me the time of day when they wanted sex, that was it. Ignored for my birthday, dating anniversary, valentines day, etc. I barely had a friend, not really a partner. I was told if I wanted to spend time with them or talk to them, I would have to game with them and join discord with 10 other guys talking at once and playing games. It didn’t help that I had little interest in the games they liked and vice versa. And I would hear from other women dealing with the same thing. It’s not that we don’t have other hobbies or need constant attention, it’s that there is very little to no connection going on with our partners. No emotional intimacy erodes relationships.


  • My first experiences on the internet were riddled with misogyny. As a child, I was told I am lying about being a girl and didn’t sound like one. I had many guys tell me “tits or gtfo” when learning I’m a girl, usually after they asked me if I was a girl. I tried playing some multiplayer team games online and was hazed once they found out I was a girl, multiple times. I refuse to play those games now. Even as an adult, I’ve had gamer guys think I’m great until they learn I’m a feminist, then the hate comes back. I’ve dated an adult man who belittled me for playing Sims because people with real lives play games like Overwatch. At least mainstream media felt like there were more women around, lemmy just feels more centered for men :/


  • I get that men are terrified about false rape accusations, even though there is an extremely low chance of it happening, they are afraid. When someone talks about sexual assault, in their mind they feel they need to defend themselves by bringing up false accusations because in their mind it will discourage this crime, bring light to real victims, and thus protect themselves. I’m not a man but this is what I’ve been told. Then you have victims, who simply want their rapist and other rapists to face justice. They often know others around them who have also been sexually assaulted. When they talk about sexual assault and someone else brings up false accusations, it feels like they don’t actually care about the victims and just want to soapbox about false accusations, stealing the spotlight. They might even be a toxic part of the manosphere.

    The nature of the crime means it is usually the victim and the perpetrator alone and not in public, and the victim is more likely to know who the assaulter is. It can be a family member, friend, partner, etc. There usually isn’t much evidence to prove sexual assault. So we have a problem. As you said, you don’t believe a hefty amount of these sexual assaults should have laws enforced on them. I don’t have a solution, other than a suggestion that people should be more empathetic towards victims. And not ask questions like yours to victims.

    questions like these are unproductive
    1. How many rapists are you ok with letting go free so that you or someone you know doesn’t have to go to prison for something they didn’t do? 1,000? 10,000? Every single rapist? Is it better to let every single criminal go free so that you do not have to go to prison?

    2. Do you think rape/sexual assault don’t happen?




  • Lemmy is mostly men, it is hard to share any other perspective. SA is hard to get a conviction in. If there isn’t physical evidence like semen, then the victim is called a liar. If there is semen evidence, then the victim is called someone who regretted their choice and is now getting back at the person. (And this is assuming the perpetrator was male, there can be female perpetrators too). A lot of victims do not come forward about what happened because they don’t want to be called a liar and labeled a pariah publicly. The absolute shame and rejection when someone doesn’t believe you. This subject is pretty sensitive to me and lemmy just really, really disappoints sometimes.




  • Ahoy ye maties! I be one o’ the new admins ‘n am happy t’ be on the crew! 🏴‍☠️

    A little about me: I’ve been pirating since I was a teenager and gravitated towards this instance because of it, I am a FOSS and privacy enthusiast, and since joining lemmy I have become ✨radicalized✨. I’m a bi cis woman and my pronouns are she/her on the internet, nobody knows you’re a woman. I have 2 senior dogs I love very much. I like anime, art, and video games. I also ate too much imposter chik’n and am now going to pass out.

    Flying-spaghetti-monster-speed o7



  • Thank you for posting this. I know now that it was because of voting which is ehh not as bad as I thought. But yeah IRL my family and partner aren’t very supportive, I’ve been trying to ignore their comments. It’s just hard sometimes, like just last night my partner said they felt sorry for me during dinner because I didn’t have meat in my meal. I think that’s probably why some vegans become more aggressive online as well as the cycle going on. Idk I just like reading articles and seeing recipes. When I first went vegan my dad tried getting my whole family to convince me to eat meat again. I love my dad but that sucked. I also love my partner and they are otherwise fine, but they seem to have a problem and are adjusting to my new diet. I can understand the fatigue a vegan may go through, but banning people for voting isn’t exactly what I had in mind as their rule 5.