My parents were reasonable. They were a bit wary of me wanting M-rated games as a kid, although they’d at least take the content warnings into account. The only game I remember them having a problem with was a Mortal Kombat game, though that was more from my 4-year-old brother wanting them to buy it for him. They were perfectly fine with buying me Halo CE when I was 7. Oh, also, my grandmother bought me Conker’s Bad Fur Day because she thought the squirrel on the cover was cute.

It was my sister who was strict about whatever media I’d consume. When we got an Xbox for Christmas, she turned on all the parental controls in the name of “protecting” her little brothers. She thought I was “too young” to play GTA when I was 10, even though she’s barely a year older than me. This domineering of hers extended to the TV as well, at least for a day, until my dad wanted to watch King of the Hill and the screen blacked out.

If I’m lucky, it’ll be the fact that I died. And the reputation I’d have to build to get that headline is hopefully gonna be a good one.

My cockatiel is the only one in this hypothetical flock that would scream my name, when any nearby human gets into an argument.

“She got too close, so I farted.”

Zac Brown Band, “Knee Deep”

BlueSky