Aren’t all cats warlocks since they have a patron?

DM: are you going to eat any of the food?

Cat: no

Cat Paladin: I lie on my back exposing my belly.

DM: Is your turn complete?

Cat Paladin: I ready an action to attack when my belly is touched.

DM: (sigh) Of course you do.

Cat Paladin: “Rogue!”

Cat Paladin: : “ROGUE!”

Rogue: “What?”

Cat Paladin: “Unlock this door.”

Rogue: “Why, what’s in there?”

Cat Paladin: “Just unlock the door.”

Rogue: “Okay.” unlocks door

Cat Paladin: sits in door frame

Cat Paladin: continues to sit in door frame

Rogue: “…”

Cat Paladin: sits in door frame a bit more

Cat Paladin: “You know what? Nevermind.” turns back

DM: Okay, time passes. now what.

Cat Paladin: I get up! I run!

DM: Sure… where?

Cat Paladin: Straight ahead! Then I stop.

DM: Um… Now what?

Cat Paladin: Run again! Then I stop. Lick myself.

DM: (sighs)

Cat Paladin: Now I SCREAM!!!