Yes. I tried to be. Interacted with lots of people who “felt” and “spoke with” God and never personally heard or felt anything despite begging and pleading. I was led to think something was wrong with me because I couldn’t.
Read about 6 versions of the Bible including a very early hand-made one in Saudi Arabia that was recovered from one of the churches that were destroyed during the Crusades. It still had reincarnation in it for normal people and not just Jesus.
Read the Gnostic Bible, other removed texts, and dead sea scrolls once they were translated.
Interacted with many other religions while I travelled finding they all believed just as or more strongly than everyone back home and also “felt” and were “spoken to” by God and wouldn’t you know it, God told each and every of them that they were right. Funny how God does that.
Became completely non-religious, but very interested in the study of it and how people interacted with it.
During this time, my mother became a pastor. I came home and had one talk with her and she broke down in tears and asked me to never speak about religion with her again because I knew more than her and had nearly destroyed her faith in about 20 minutes. She told me that if she ever lost it, she’s kill herself. Afterwards, she chose God over her kids every time.
I didn’t speak to her much for about 22 years. She died of cancer last year, but it was religion that took my mother from me long before that.
If you don’t mind sharing, how did your mom “choose God over her kids”? Just spent all her time in church and never talked to them or something worse than that? Also, asking someone not to talk about such a topic seems like a very reasonable ask, everyone has their triggers and limits.
There’s a lot of very private stuff for me and my brothers bundled into that question, but some of it involves:
We were informed that we were going to be religious because she was because that’s what the bible said would happen. If we disagreed, she would deny it and simply say “Yes, you will.” If we persisted, we were grounded.
We would ask our mother for permission to do something and she’d change her mind based on what my stepfather wanted because since finding God, she became very subservient. For example, it was my chore to mow the lawn. I was ill and asked if I could pay my brother to do it. She said yes because the chore still got done and everyone would be happy. My stepfather got home and had a meltdown and she completely rolled over even after verifying to him that she told me I could. I was then grounded and had to dismantle my personal computer that I paid for with my own money and reassemble parts into the family computer to “prove that I still cared about the family.” Things like this happened constantly.
They raided our college funds to pay for church events to the point where there was nothing left. When asking for any help to go to college when the time came, my Mother and Stepfather got actively angry and said they had no money. They did and continued to tithe 30% to the church and pay for church events. I paid for college with loans and working myself.
In my first year of college, I wound up getting my girlfriend (later wife) pregnant. They kicked me out of the house and I lived in my car for a good while until a friend took me in. Mom and my Stepfather didn’t speak to me for ten years because an unmarried pregnancy didn’t look good in front of their church friends. She didn’t meet either of her grandchildren until the week before she died.
After I was kicked out, they left our family dog to die in agony in the dark in their garage for 6 months because “it would be a sin to put her down.” She was sick and old and they barely ever interacted with her or even cleaned up her poop once I left. She died in filth with her kidneys exploding. It was cruel and sickening.
At these church gatherings, they would all talk judgmentally about all their “friends” and the children thereof, and there were church events or gatherings nearly every day of the week. Every time any of their kids asked to spend time with them, they refused. They were busy. There was no bonding time and they were just… gone nearly 3/4 of most days.
There’s scads more, but this is frankly kind of depressing.
Yeah, I’m actually sorry I asked, this is depressing. Idk how anyone can justify this with “this is what God wants” but they did justify the Crusades so what do I know. I’m glad you’re out of that environment and I understand how this entire situation made you hate religion/God. 😔
Yes. I tried to be. Interacted with lots of people who “felt” and “spoke with” God and never personally heard or felt anything despite begging and pleading. I was led to think something was wrong with me because I couldn’t.
Read about 6 versions of the Bible including a very early hand-made one in Saudi Arabia that was recovered from one of the churches that were destroyed during the Crusades. It still had reincarnation in it for normal people and not just Jesus.
Read the Gnostic Bible, other removed texts, and dead sea scrolls once they were translated.
Interacted with many other religions while I travelled finding they all believed just as or more strongly than everyone back home and also “felt” and were “spoken to” by God and wouldn’t you know it, God told each and every of them that they were right. Funny how God does that.
Became completely non-religious, but very interested in the study of it and how people interacted with it.
During this time, my mother became a pastor. I came home and had one talk with her and she broke down in tears and asked me to never speak about religion with her again because I knew more than her and had nearly destroyed her faith in about 20 minutes. She told me that if she ever lost it, she’s kill herself. Afterwards, she chose God over her kids every time.
I didn’t speak to her much for about 22 years. She died of cancer last year, but it was religion that took my mother from me long before that.
If you don’t mind sharing, how did your mom “choose God over her kids”? Just spent all her time in church and never talked to them or something worse than that? Also, asking someone not to talk about such a topic seems like a very reasonable ask, everyone has their triggers and limits.
There’s a lot of very private stuff for me and my brothers bundled into that question, but some of it involves:
There’s scads more, but this is frankly kind of depressing.
Yeah, I’m actually sorry I asked, this is depressing. Idk how anyone can justify this with “this is what God wants” but they did justify the Crusades so what do I know. I’m glad you’re out of that environment and I understand how this entire situation made you hate religion/God. 😔