• Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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      11 days ago

      So back in the days of leaded gasoline and lynchings there was this show on CBS called Lassie. It ran from 1954 to 1974 and a total of 591 episodes. The show went through three major revisions in its history and honestly was three almost completely unrelated shows about the same dog, but it’s best remembered in its earliest incarnation featuring a small family that lived on a farm including a boy named Timmy and a Collie named Lassie.

      Sort of like Mr. Ed or Flipper, Lassie is an improbably smart animal. A typical episode of the show would be some backwoods shenanigans in which someone, usually Timmy, would be trapped somehow, and Lassie would have to solve the problem, often by summoning help from Ma or Pa. The following conversation is typical of an episode of Lassie:

      Ma is housewifing in the kitchen. Lassie enters

      Lassie: Woof.

      Ma: What is it, girl?

      Lassie: Bark. Bark.

      Ma: Timmy’s in trouble?!

      Lassie: Woof. Bark.

      Ma: He fell down Old Mr. Jones’ mine shaft?!

      Lassie: Bark. Woof.

      Ma: Well let’s go help him!

      So, you know how Captain Kirk never actually said “beam me up, Scotty” even though pop culture seems to think he did? Same thing with Lassie. Even though it is a perfectly plausible plot for the show, Timmy never fell down a well. He fell off cliffs, into lakes and rivers, down mine shafts and into quicksand but he never once fell down a well.