I mean it just feels so weird for me to say it…
And then she gets upset that I don’t say it back to her and she claims that I don’t like her…
like what the f, do I have to say it?
yes I appreciate everything you did for me, mom, I feel a strong emotional connection to you, but still, you never acknowledged my depression being a real struggle and idk how to even feel about you.
but nah I don’t feel like saying it…
sorry if I’m being weird…
but anyways… y’all wanna talk about family stuff?
You aren’t being weird, you’re dealing with a one-sided emotional expression. I have to deal with the same situation with my mother, who stopped caring for my brother and me when I was 12, but somehow still thinks she’s the best mother in the world.
My situation is complicated. I have a child and a wife, and I have an obligation to keep some semblance of normality for them. My wife knows and can see how narcissistic and fake my mom is, but my son does enjoy his time with his grandma.
I have come up with a placated version to respond with to people whom I must entertain versus those who actually deserve my affection. When I tell my wife or son that I love them, I say fully and wholly, “I love you.” For anyone else, it’s “love ya.” It doesn’t always feel good to say it at all, but at least I know when I’m being sincere versus an obligational pleasantry.