I made this account because I cannot find the answer. I dont know if anyone will see this or respond either. My brain constantly talks to me, or more so im talking to myself. Its not once in awhile, but every minute. Everyday, it has not changed it has gotten worse. I either think of random things or negative things. Everytime I try to think positive, it switches to panic in my brain. This constant talk not only makes my head hurt but I cannot control my emotions half of the time. I also feel like my body is out of place as if im not in it. My body feels like it needs to move around but when I do, I cant. I feel as if Im frozen and uncomfortable even laying down. Everything seems difficult, I feel out of place and different from everybody. I keep researching but I cannot find the answer. The more deeper I go into my thoughts, the more I struggle to sleep and focus. I get deep thoughts on why I am in this world, why I am human, Why I exist. My brain spinning makes me want to exist less because of how tiring it is to feel like this everyday. I play a ton of video games and guitar because those seem to be the only two activities that makes my brain shut up for a short period. This is a very long type but I hope someone out here can help or give advice on what I should do.
Because you listen. ;)
No, but seriously, I don’t really have time to explain the id (inner mind) and I don’t know everything, but that’s what you want to look up. Just disregard anything about the software company (the company that made the game DOOM, and others, is called id Software, since bought by Bethesda, now owned by Microsoft).
There’s a comment below (chronologically, before) that says meditation isn’t about quieting the mind, but not reacting to it, or something like that. That’s pretty much it, but you don’t have to sit and chant or drink tea or any “meditation” stuff. (Meditation can be done whenever. I’m not making fun; rather, trying to dispel misconceptions about it. I meditate all the time.) So I’ve trained my brain to not “bug” me about every little thing. When it does, I tune it out. It isn’t always easy, being that I’m on the spectrum (on the edge of it, high functioning, but still on it). But I make it work.
In layman’s terms, because I really don’t write about this, and haven’t tried to explain it before, but I basically have two minds at any given time. It’s almost like how multiple personalities are depicted in movies and TV. Or the TV show Severance, where people forget their outside lives when they come into work, and vice-versa when they go home. Except mine are both on all the time. One manages the “here and now” and the other basically fields everything else. Some would say “well that’s just the ego and the id”; maybe so, but I feel I have some conscious control over it. Most people don’t. Maybe I don’t and I just think I do. Maybe I’m completely full of shit. Maybe you don’t believe me. Maybe I’m wrong. Does any of it matter? Speaking this whole paragraph in the voice of Morpheus, as portrayed by Laurence Fishburne, in the film The Matrix. But I’m not holding out two pills, I’m just telling you how I see it. I’m not offering to take you on a journey though, we’re just strangers on a train passing time in the cafe, I’m sipping my coffee on my way to work; you are… well, you know who you are and what you’re doing as you read this. When you read it, I will be at work, I may be home, or it might be years from now and I may have passed on, but the me you’re reading was the me who was sipping coffee typing on the computer before work on one random day among many.
Hope that helps. Or at least was entertaining. Or at least didn’t waste your time.