The term originally meant to label a particular kind of person in a relationship. It implies someone is intentionally deceptive and is lying to maintain status all the while manipulating another person in order to steal or be provided with money.

While that other person might not know it. Its still clear to others. Hence golddigger being an insult. Even if that person doesn’t believe they are one or that their love interest is

And is also used to decribe those who intend to commit fraud through a planned premeditated divorce (for the specific intention of taking half someones money house ect not caring at all what that will do to anybody)

That is generally, just plain bad. Its not that hard to let it be bad and not try to defend it because #imawhiteknight #polyculecool or whatever drives the defense of the indefensible here

So redefining that because you want to make up stories about how things work isnt going to make that go away. Forgetting that specific behavior is toxic because relationships come in different shapes and sizes, has and will always be just some new fangled, toxic-positivity bullshit and you should be ashamed of your toxic-positive bullshit